Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
