i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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