At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Randomize
