I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
