Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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