oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
