The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
