This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
