The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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