I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize