Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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