ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
