I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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