Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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