So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
