That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
God I need to hump something, right now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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