no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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