laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize
