I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
NoShamevember. You game?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize