when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
