The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
