She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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