i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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