Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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