i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
