I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
