don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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