he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
