I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
only if we run a train.
done.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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