i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
it's like iHOP with fire
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize