Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
