Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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