I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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