your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize