The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
