Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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