i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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