She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
