I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
