they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
