I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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