so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Im part way to drunk.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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