are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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