True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
