My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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