he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
