FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
