just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
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