i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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