can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Let's paint friendship bongs
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
