i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
