my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
