Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
