He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Less talking, more tequila
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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