I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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