I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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