Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
