I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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