Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
