don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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