Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
