We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
