LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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