You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
