I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize