I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
