i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
