why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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