I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
