my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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