I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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