Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we have pet lesbian snakes
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
