Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
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